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Tom Gilmore
 
 

Heroes, heroes everywhere
How the New York City Blackout made everyone who wasn't already a hero a hero

Realizing that I indirectly played a role in the Blackout of 2003, through my years of supporting government interference in the market, I thought it was only appropraite to punish myself a little. I took a belt and starting flailing my own back, but since it was dark I kept missing. In the end, I only gave myself a tiny skin wound, but since I couldn't see it I didn't let it bother me; as they say, out of sight, out of mind.

On a different note, on my long, hot walk home (I deserved it), I took inventory of the real heroes from that day.

Menzes Sweet reacts to the Blackout differently...
The Blackout just shows that New York is always getting a blow job while it never even offers to give head. I am writing to tell New York that it is time to suck it up.

On 4th St around Washington Square I noted an elderly man directing traffic. Around the corner, I noted a hoodlum looking fellow directing traffic (which, it occured to me, was also good because he probably would have been looting if not directing traffic). Do you think these two gentlemen asked for anything in return? (Let it also be said, there were various other reports citing civilans directing traffic.)

Later on, I noted a man in a motorized wheelchair crossing the Williamsburg Bridge with hundreds of pedestrians. Now of course this guy's chair can go way the fuck faster than someone walking. In normal times, people would have unwittingly formed a blockade, thus forcing the unfortunate guy to move at their pace.

But something extraordinary took over -- when the fellow honked the high-pitched horn attached to his pint-size go cart, people cleared a path. It was really like the parting of the sea, the way a hole opened up for this less fortunate man. It was sort of the like the voice of the people spoke up and what I heard was: "We see you, man who is less fortunate than us, we see you. Normally we wouldn't, but today we do." Obviously, in a situation like this, there are too many heroes to name. So, we must recognize the people collectively as the hero.

After this, I noticed neighbors introducing themselves to each other. Furthermore, I heard someone talking about how they told another customer that the candles were in aisle six. And lastly, there were reports that Hasidic Jews in the village were handing out bottled water.

A silver lining? Try linings.

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