Rock?
On MTV? What the ...
Dear Inversion,
I was flipping channels last night (suckin' on the glass tit)
and I came across something that floored me: a music video...
ON MTV! I was astounded. To top it all off, it was part of
a new segment of music videos called "all things rock"
or something to that affect. It led me to ask myself, Why
rock? Why now? After so many years why has Rock resurfaced?
Videos by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Jet, The
Darkness, Phantom Planet, The Strokes
and The White Stripes on MTV? Artists such as this
being heard on the radio? On the very same stations that threw
rock in the trash to play "Alternative" or Limp
Biscrap? After all the flannel and grunting what are we left
with? Rock, that Rocks. Oh, and check out the cover of Spin
this month (not that I would ever recommend reading it). The
cover, "the best things to come for this year."
Not a growler or a pop diva to be found! Inversion, I need
help! Please tell me what the fuck is going on!?
 |
Homeless
Childhood Hero |
~ Dan Lamonica
Boscawen, NH
The editors respond ::
Dear Dan,
Don’t worry—this will all pass soon. Let not this
“rock” confuse you. We believe the reappearance
of “rock” on television and radio to be a market-based
phenomenon. It is nothing more than the re-marketing of old
styles, looks and genres made possible by (1) bands who take
irony way too seriously and (2) marketeers who are smarter
than these bands.
If you think about it, The White Stripes, for example, are
merely a weak reincarnation of the three-cord punk styles
of the late 70s and early 80s. Just listen to the lyrics:
“I’m goin’ to Wichita…All the words
are gonna bleed from me / And I will think no more…”
Wichita? Why? Probably because Weezer wouldn’t
let you tour with them. Please, go to Wichita. Let the words
bleed. And get the hell out of our face with that chord-chord-chorus
crap. Likewise, The Darkness is the reinvention of 80s hair
bands. The lead singer is truly psychotic to believe that
his female falsetto does anything more than drive rodents
into cannibalistic orgies.
Both bands (and the others you mention) are unremarkable
mirages. The reason their sound is appealing is because they
temporarily fill a void created by the suck of even more terrible
music, such as Justin Timberlake, his ex-murder ho, Britney
Spears and faux-anger diva, Pink. Markeeters understand that
there is a relatively wealthy, disaffected, young consumer
group that has been taught to hate Timberlake and regard Spears
as worthy of attention only because her top might accidentally
pop off during a lip-synched concert. Therefore, The White
Stripes and The Darkness become successful “re-rock,”
repackaged rock that is not unlike light beer. In other words,
Dan, this trend, feebly passed off as “rock,”
reminds us a lot of something the Dead Kennedys used to sing:
The lowest common denominator rules
Forget honesty
Forget creativity
The dumbest buy the mostest
That's the name of the game
But sales are slumping
And no one will say why
Could it be they put out one too many lousy records?!?
M.T.V.-Get off the air!
Dan, you must stop looking at the TV and listening to the
radio. We believe gangsta-rap is the lifeline that will preserve
us through this ridiculous “re-rock” phase. But,
if you must, download some Drivin’ N' Cryin’ for
a real rock experience.
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